The alarm did not go off this morning as it was Saturday; the one day of the week I can turn the thing OFF. My body seems to know when I lay it down to sleep on Friday nights, that it only needs 7 hrs of sleep. I want it to sleep longer, but it refuses. So, I stayed up until 2am on Friday, thinking I would trick my body to sleep a little longer... Oh no... do you think it obeyed?? Not a chance. 9am sharp, I woke up. Strange how Monday through Thursday I desire and crave 10 hrs of sleep! Saturdays however, I wake feeling perkey and rested.
Its one of those overcast drizzly looking mornings which makes me move a little faster towards my coffee mug. Brushing my teeth, washing my face and running a brush through my hair is just about all the "beauty" enhancements I'm going to do today. It is "cleaning day" and I don't plan on leaving the premises. Grabbing my devotional book and coffee cup, I plop down on the couch and try to focus. "God Always Gives Grace" is the name for today's devotion. The scripture is Mark 10:27 that reads, "God can do all things." (I like that).
The little reading was quite powerful. It talked about how our questions betray our lack of understanding. Example: How can God be everywhere at one time? How can God hear all of the prayers that come to Him? And how can God be Father, Son and Holy Ghost? And my favorite, is if people down here won't forgive me, how much more am I guilty before a holy God? (Max Lucado answers it like this) "It's just the opposite. God is always able to give grace when we humans can't - why? Because He invented it." I love that. God was the inventor and designer of grace... who knows it and understands it better than He does?
Devotions out of the way, I was able to move on to my duties as a homemaker. I tend to get distracted, and as I was walking towards the kitchen, I saw my uncompleted jigsaw puzzle sitting on my kitchen table. I leaned over and fit a few pieces in. Its addicting. I say, "one more piece, then I'm going to start cleaning." 30 min later, and 10 pieces later, I am still standing over the puzzle... Now my back is aching.
Finally, I get to the kitchen and attack it with a vengence. Dishes, cupboards, refrigerator, stove, floor. Moving on to the living room; dusting, vacumming. I put a few loads of clothes in the wash machine, and move on to the bathrooms. Sinks, mirrors, toilets, tubs, rugs shook, floors wiped down. Next, my bedroom. Dusting, cleaning out drawers, organizing closet, vacumming, changing sheets. Folding 2 loads of clothes and putting them away. I look at the clock and realize its 4pm and I haven't eaten yet. My stomach is growling and I am starting to get a headache. I light a few candles, and put on a CD of my favorite oldies/love songs. Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holliday, Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra...
I fix myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a large glass of milk and sit down to finish this puzzle that I've been working on since after Christmas! I'm so close. I'm tempted to just dump the whole thing back in the box so I can finally use Pledge on my table and put my centerpiece back; but I can't give up. That's not a good characteristic. I need to finish what I started!
Other than sweeping off the patio, and taking down the trash, I'm finished with my cleaning. The sun is starting to go down, and the kids from outside have quieted since their mom's have called them in for dinner. The smells of dinners cooking as the afternoon turns to evening, is a good feeling. I smell hamburgers, fried chicken, steaks grilling on the barbeque. It reminds me of when my kids were little and on Saturday evenings I'd call them in from playing with the neighbor kids. They'd run in and wash their hands, comb their hair and sit at the dinner table. We'd all hold hands and say grace before eating together. They would tell us about their exciting adventures, then quickly clean up the dishes, and rush out for another hour before they had to come in and get showered and their clothes in order for Sunday morning. There was a contentment in the ritual. The neighbors cooking and hearing the kids playing outside, brings back some good memories of my own little family.
I decided I need to go to the grocery store for a few items. Garbage bags, bananas, creamer, and ingrediants to make Lemon Cream Cheese Bars. That is my reward for cleaning all day! I came home, and made them! Oh my goodness, they turned out stupendous! Delicious! Amazing! I haven't had dessert (homemade) in a long time, and I had 2 bars with a nicely made cup of java. I shouldn't have eaten 2... I am stuffed, but it was yummy. I think I'll take the rest of them to my daughters tomorrow, otherwise I'll eat them all.
My house is clean; my baking is done; I've completed my homework, and I'm ready to go to bed. Tomorrow I'm looking forward to a lovely day in the house of the Lord with my sweet little family. For having such a rough week, emotionally, physically, spiritually, today was a nice quiet, peaceful time alone. Me and the Lord, and my little place of dwelling. Its funny how when my home is in order and tidy and neat, I feel more in order, tidy and neat. The issues and troubles are still their, but I don't feel the pressure of them as much. Its that way with the Lord too. When I've started my day with Him, and sing and talk to Him throughout my day, and ask His advice and His counsel, things seem a little lighter. He is always encouraging me and reminding me that He is in control, and to only take one day at a time; one minute at a time, and to rest and trust Him. When I do that, I find more moments of peace and ease throughout my day. I can breath easier, and my heart doesn't race, my head doesn't start pounding, and I can always find a song to sing.
February is not an easy month for me, but it will be a time of healing, learning, remembering, and looking ahead. Next week will be the 2nd year of my husbands passing from this earth to his new heavenly home. Sometimes it feels like its been 5 years, and other times it seems like just 5 days.
So, one more day is marked off the calender, and one more night is spent alone. I lay my head down knowing that I have a heavenly Father that promised He would never leave me nor forsake me. On that I can depend.