A few weeks ago I finally decided to be brave. Many of you know that I love to write. My computer is filled with stories. Short, long, fiction and non-fiction; quotes from good people and even a few crazy people. Essays, paragraphs, ideas, thoughts, dreams, and more stories. Many friends and family have often told me that I should submit them for publishing; however, the fear that would grip me at the idea of letting someone else critique my words was terrifying to say the least. These were my stories, my writings, my hopes, dreams and thoughts. How could I ever let someone else decide if they were "good enough" to publish and possibly allow the world in to see me? Well, some of you will be proud of me. I prayed about it; pondered it and finally decided to choose two of my stories, and submit them in a publishing "contest". I could win $1500 and get published, or win zip. I did it though. I put my words out there. I will keep you posted on how I do. The winner will not be announced until April. I felt a moment of great confidence and excitement; however, about an hour after I hit the SUBMIT button, I realized I used my real name instead of this awesome pseudonym that I had picked out. So now I'm really terrified! So, like the song says: "... these stories don't mean anything when you've got no one to tell them to..."
So, I'm telling my stories. I love to read; I love to write. I always have. I'm a bit of a loner. Having one great friend is perfectly perfect for me. Having a great pen and paper is even better. The thing that I've been pondering about all my writings as of late, is the simple fact that rarely does anyone else get to enjoy what I've written. What is is about us writers, that wants to horde away all of our words? Isn't the joy of writing suppose to be when we see someone else see, feel, taste and touch what we've written, and be moved by it in some way? Believe it or not, I actually love going back over stories I have written years ago, and reading them again. Sometimes I have to stop and pause, because I can't believe it was actually me who wrote it. Some of the papers are so good that they take my breath away, and others are so bad that I want to hit the delete button. I don't do it though, because I hope that one day, if God permits, and I do become some famous author; I can look back on some of the awful stories I told, and remember.
Here's to the ups and downs of writing. "Write everyday..." says one of my favorite authors Ted Dekker. Write something, everyday. It doesn't have to be good; it doesn't have to even be right, but always let it be from a place inside that stirs you in some way. So that's what I'm doing. I find that as a Christian, I tend to think that I should always have something positive and uplifting to write about. I struggle with the fact that most days I don't. Many days are filled with struggle, hardship, foggy days and dark nights. Its not always sunshine and country roads. I battle that people who read it may struggle with that. I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone, and I hope that even through the dark and foggy days of life, that in my writings, there would always be the light; whether its coming from a star, a moonbeam or a headlight! Honestly, what keeps us alive more than blood, oxygen or even love, is hope!
I'm rambling, and I need to wrap this post up. If anyone is out their, thanks for listening to me.
God bless, and sweet dreams.